Hope, Life and Tears
by emerald-echo
Summary: A fanfic about Hope. Is better than the summary, promise! OOC. Crackfic.
1. Dog Food

**Hope's Diary**

_Monday_

Dear Diary,

I am at my wit's end. My dear wife Alyssa is pregnant with our third child – two pregnancies which have brought us two beautiful children named Faith and Optimism. But during all three of her pregnancies my wife has eaten nothing but dog food!

Today I put some dog food on a white plate (sighing wearily during the process) and then served it up along with a glass of water. The revolting smell emitting from that brown gloppy disgusting mess was making my eyes water. She gulped it down in no time at all and then I threw the dish out. Yuck.

_Tuesday_

My father is getting suspicious that I am using my family discount to buy almost a quarter of his entire production of dog food (he runs a successful dog food company), especially since we don't have a dog!

She now eats 24 cans of dog food a day.

_Wednesday_

Snow came by today, he was astonished by the sight of hundreds of empty dog food cans stacked on the kitchen counter. I didn't know what to say. He stayed for a quarter of an hour, then quickly fled when he saw my wife eating some more dog food. I sighed wearily once more.

The stench of dog food permeates the house, making me constantly nauseous.

_Thursday_

DOG FOOD!

_Friday_

I cannot stand the stench of it any longer. After the third pregnancy I am getting a divorce.

_Saturday_

I... Will... Not... Eat... Dog... FOOD!

_Sunday_

They haunt me. In my dreams, I see them. The panting dogs happily barking at me to eat dog food. I can't eat the dog food. It is disgusting. No, they cannot make me eat dog food.

Dogs... Food... Wife.

I am so weary. Dog food. More dog food. Cans and cans and cans of dog food. My children are barking. No, it is the dogs. Dog food. My wife eats it. I can't stand it.

_Monday_

Today, I ate some dog food. Surprisingly tasty!


	2. House in da House

****_A few days later..._

Bartholomew adjusted his glasses and scanned the deserted street. Far off, at a distant corner, he saw a formless unmoving lump upon the asphalt. He started to walk briskly towards this unknown object. When he had walked a few hundred yards he saw it more clearly, and gasped. At once he quickened his pace to a swift run. Having reached his goal, he fell to his knees and shook the lump vigorously.

"HOPE! HOPE! CAN YOU HEAR ME, HOPE?"

Hope lay unconscious upon the ground, his throat covered in a vicious purplish bruise. Desperate and fraught with fear, Bartholomew put his ear to his son's mouth to ascertain that he was breathing. After a few seconds, he took out his phone and called Snow to see if he was up for a double malt whiskey at the nearest pub. His son was breathing, there was nothing more for him to do here.

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer (yes post-story): This is BY NO MEANS what you should do in a situation like this, ever. Call an ambulance, don't call Snow and ask if he wants to drink alcohol. Also, I don't own the characters, though I've given them completely different personalities due to having no idea what I'm doing.<em><br>_**


	3. Pianissimo

Hope straddled the piano chair. His long, delicate fingers rested upon the ivory keys. The room was empty and quiet, the calm sunlight was filtered through the curtains and gave the lonely figure at the piano a dream-like glow. He took a deep breath and then his fingers began to move. A hauntingly beautiful melody floated through the room, moving as if alive. His fingers danced. The sheet on the stand was no longer needed, as he slowly closed his eyes, breathing slowly, moving his entire body to the music.

In another space, not too far off, Noel closed his eyes as well. He listened intently to the eerily gorgeous song breezing through the house. He made a snap decision as the piece entered into a crescendo. Quickly, he started preparing.

The melody was nearing its end. Hope could feel it, as if though a part of him was slowly dying. He slowed his pace and tried to make it last for as long as possible without compromising the integrity of the piece. As the last vibrating tone slowly ebbed out, he opened his eyes.

And saw a delicious feast put out on the terrace right outside his window. Noel was adjusting the table cloth, and then moved on to the tulips that stood in a ceramic vase in the middle of the table. Hope's mouth watered. There were pancakes with maple syrup, bacon and eggs and a whole box of newly-bought doughnuts.

He sighed happily. No dog food in sight. He opened the light glass door and stepped out.


	4. Mein Leben ist in Chaos

Snow looked around, and discovered that Hope wasn't anywhere to be seen. He shouted after him, but to no avail. He walked around a corner and saw a fat girl clad in a black shirt and beige shorts. She was jumping up and down outside a high-end restaurant. The door opened and a mighty fortress appeared from within. Snow recognized it as Alexander and screamed of fright. He turned and ran away as fast as he could, crying from fear. His eyes flowed over with tears and he collided with the soft body of the increasingly obese Hope. The silver-haired boy gripped his arms and said with a smile, "Whoa whoa easy there, Snow, what could possibly be the matter?".

Snow's eyes, swimming with tears, sought Hope's and he woke up with a start and breathed heavily. What a strange dream, he thought. He fell back and forgot the dream immediately as he went back to sleep. When he woke up the next morning he saw that Hope had not increased in size at all. In fact, he was as lean as ever. Snow gulped as his roommate stretched luxuriously in their shared king-size bed. He needed to get some coffee. As he stood up to go out into the kitchen, Hope woke up, screaming and flailing wildly with his arms.

Snow barely had time to say "What's wrong" before a loud explosion shook the room and he was forced to shield his eyes from the bright light that appeared.

When he opened his eyes, Snow's blood went cold when he saw the condition of Hope. Hope was bleeding profusely from the stump where his left leg used to be. The pale-haired tall man went even paler. He grabbed the sheets that lay haphazard on the floor and wrapped them around the remnant of Hope's leg. Hope panted weakly and Snow realized his condition was critical. He looked around to identify the source of the explosion but saw only smoke and dust.

First priority now was to eat cereal. Snow left the bleeding Hope in the bedroom and headed to the kitchen, opening many cabinets in search for Super Kawaii Fairies' chocho chunky cereal. He sighed in annoyance and called out for Hope, but remembered that the other was currently incapacitated. Snow groaned and sank down to his knees, crying madly, when suddenly Serah walked in the door, clutching a remote control in her gloved hand. "Did you enjoy the fireworks?" she asked sweetly. Snow dropped his chin. "Is your dearest Hope bleeding out in the bedroom?" He nodded mutely. Serah procured a band-aid from her purse and headed towards the bedroom, leaving Snow in a quivering heap on the floor.

Hope was not in the room. Serah gaped slightly at the sight. There was plenty of blood on the floor, and some of it trailed to the wardrobe. Serah approached hesitantly and grasped the handle, and pulled open the door. What she saw changed her forever...

Lightning was concentrating intensely on her task, her hands hovering above Hope's slowly regenerating leg. Serah gasped loudly, interrupting Lightning's concentration. The leg immediately disappeared, looking as though it was simply absorbed by the body. Hope groaned and Lightning looked at Serah with disdain.

"You interrupted me and now I have to start over completely!" she berated her.

"I'm sorry for being such an idiot all the time, sis, but I really think you should stop what you are doing..." Serah said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

She pulled out her bow, loaded an arrow and aimed it at Hope's forehead. She pulled the string and was promptly hit over the head, causing the arrow to fire several feet above Hope's head. She hit the floor in an ungainly fashion, revealing her attacker to be Noel. He relaxed his fist and rubbed his knuckles against the fabric of his silly pants. Kicking away the bow, he grabbed Serah by the collar and threw her on the bed. She yelped and immediately lost consciousness from the harsh fall. Lightning concentrated again on healing, but found that it was pointless, for Hope's leg had automatically closed itself, rendering any regrowth of the limb completely pointless. She sighed deeply, mourning the loss of mobility for the youngling. At least they had excellent prosthetics in New Bodhum's surgical clinic. Noel approached her, a pleading look in his eyes. Lightning slowly shook her head. Noel was walking closer when Hope groaned loudly of pain. He shouted for his mom and dad and the whole scene was heartbreaking for both Noel and Lightning. Noel was dumbfounded while Lightning stabbed him in the leg with a painkiller so strong it could knock out a horse with a growth hormone problem. Noel grabbed his hair and tried to shut out the scene.

Serah was still knocked out cold, lying on the shredded mattress of the blown-apart bed. The remote control had dropped to the floor, a red light on it flashing ever more frequently. Suddenly it engulfed the room with a bright red light. Noel shielded his eyes and both he and Lightning instinctively threw their bodies over Hope in a try to protect the young teen when a loud beeping sound started. They expected it to explode, but as the beeps quickened, Snow rushed into the room and swiftly swallowed the device. As it reached his digestive system a muffled explosion was heard and his stomach bulged slightly.

Noel and Lightning shared a look of consternation before they realized the intimate position in which they found themselves and quickly jumped away from the unconscious Hope. Snow grinned menacingly as, behind him, Serah was still unconscious and snoring loudly. Snow looked at her in pure hate. He reached up and removed the engagement necklace. "Consider our relationship..." He threw it on her still form, "Over."

Noel flew up and screamed: "YEEEEEAAAAH" while Lightning scoffed at their antics. She opened her mouth to say "So you're free to shag Noel now, brilliant" and to underscore her last statement, rolled her eyes and started to tend to Hope again.

Noel's cheeks immediately went a pure scarlet red as his eyes slowly sought Snow's. Snow, however, was looking down at Serah, regret starting to show in his entire form. In a sudden move, he embraced Serah and started to sob and mumble an incomprehensible mess of words. Noel could only hear one sentence clearly, and it was something similar with: "Sorry for not noticing you turning evil, babe..." Noel looked at Serah's form with eyes dropping of jealousy. He turned and walked out of the room, wiping his eyes as damnable tears began to roll down his red cheeks. How could he have believed that Snow would ever look at him the way he looked at Serah, with adoring eyes and a bit of drool slightly peeking through the corner of his mouth? Noel shut his eyes tight, hoping to somehow quench the oncoming flood of acidic tears. As he tried to compose himself, the door to his left creaked and suddenly a handkerchief was pressed against his face, covering his mouth and nose. He could feel himself slipping away when a bright light appeared at the end of a glorious tunnel. Noel grinned when he realized his attacker's plan had gone awry. Floating out of his body towards the brilliant light, he looked back and saw that his attacker was no one. Noel was alone. Perhaps forever.


End file.
